Whatsapp Jokes – Latest Collection {Updated 2020}

whatsapp jokes

Scientists state that laughing is healthful for your lives, so why not give your families a relief? Furthermore, making others snickering will assist you with showing up increasingly shrewd and charming, just as being a fundamental weapon in the round of enchantment. Thus, I’ve made a list of amusing jokes for WhatsApp prepared to be effectively shared.

I asked my GIRLFRIEND, what style of books she’s interested in…. She said Cheque books

“Name me five different animals, peter.”

“The cat, the cat’s brother, the cat’s sister, the cat’s cousin, and the cat’s uncle.”

Me: What’s your age?

She: We girls, don’t reveal our age to boys

Me: What’s your email address?

She: [email protected]

A man goes to a pub and says, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

He drinks the beer and then orders another one asking, “Give me a beer before the problems start!”

The barman looks confused; however, he serves him another beer.

After a little moment and when the fifth beer is ordered, the barman is totally confused and asks the man, “When are you going to pay for these beers?”

The man answers, “Now the problems start!”

Man A: Why is the prime minister not seen in the morning?

Man B: Because he is pm not am

Employee: Boss, I wanted to tell you that I’ve got married. Can I get a pay rise? Boss: Well, congratulations, we do not compensate for the accidents that happen outside of the workplace.

Adam goes to the Lord.

Adam: Lord, “Can I ask you a question?”

God: “Yes, my son.”

Adam: “Why did you make Eve so beautiful?”

God: “So you could love her.”

Then Adam asked Actually Lord, why did you make Eve so foolish?

God replies, “So she could love you.”

Why do dwarfs laugh when playing soccer?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

When a politician is telling lies, how do you know?

He moves his lips.

Two friends walk into a bar.

Sam: “What are you having?”

Noyel: “The same as you.”

Sam:  “Then, two coffees.”

Noyel: “Then, two coffees for me too.”

Don’t break anyone’s heart, and they have only one.

Instead

Break their bones; they have 206

During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. But at midnight, I’m a little more open-minded

Words of welcome at the international conference of sperm cell donors: “First of all, thank you for coming!”

“Oh God, if you cannot make me look thing, at least make my friends get fat.”

There was a notice outside a pub saying, “Whoever drinks to forget is indeed so to pay in advance!”

Two bats are hanging upside down in one cave. One bat asks from the other bat: “What was the toughest day of your life?”

The other bat replies: “When I got diarrhea!”

A lifesaver on the beach is eating a sandwich.

A child beggar comes and says to him: “I haven’t consumed for three days.”

The lifesaver replies: “Well, you can take a bath!”

Difference between a stunning night and a horror night.
A stunning night is,
When you hug your teddy bear and sleep.
A Horror night is,
When your teddy bear hugs you, BACK.

At the door of the diviner:

“Knock knock…”

“Who is it?”

“Ah, good start.”

“Excuse me, could you tell me the way to the cemetery?” “Do you see that curve? Well, you go straight ahead!”

I had constipation problems, but as soon as I saw you, I solved it.

“How are you? Today I heard that a body was found without a brain, please tell me you’re okay.”

Is it true that carrots are good for your eyesight? Yeah Sure! Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Best Jokes

A dog in front of a Christmas tree.

“Finally, they put lights in the bathroom!”

Two blondes are in the woods to look for a Christmas tree. After two hours of intense searching, one says to the other: “I’ve had enough! We take the next tree we see even if it has no decorations.”

A dog is walking with a bone in its mouth. It meets a cat who asks it: “Why do you keep the bone in your mouth?” It replies: “Because I don’t have pockets.”

Doctor-Tell me what the problem is

The patient begins to touch several parts of his body, saying, “I feel so much pain here, here, there… but also here, there, here, and there… what happened to me?”

The doctor replied: “Idiot! Don’t you see that you broke your toe?!”

A teacher asked one of the students, what is the longest word in the English language? One boy says ‘Smiles’ as there is a one-mile distance between its first and last letters.

How was your dinner in the outdoor restaurant?

Bad, it started to rain, and it took me an hour to finish the broth!

“Doctor, I think I’m a dog …”.

“Lie down on the couch …”.

“Oh! Thank you! At home, they don’t let me lie on the sofa!”

“Doctor, I feel strange: I have premonitions about the future.” “Since when?” “From next Wednesday.”

“Hey, did your ass fall asleep?”

“Why?”

“I heard it snoring …”

“When you make love, do you talk to your wife?”

“Yes, if she calls me …”

Why do policemen smile during storms?

Because they believe that lightning is that the flashes of the photographers.

A recently done study has found that ladies who carry additional weight live longer than the men who mention it

If one door opens and another one closes, your stupid house is haunted

Husband and Wife Jokes

Jokes for Whatsapp

My daughter wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told her to leave me alone and when she did, father- asked why she was ignoring me

Husband- Dear you have received an invitation for a wedding

The wife answered- Maybe next time. Thanks

I tried to re-marry my ex-husband

But he figured out I was only after my money

Marriage is an institution of three rings

Engagement ring, Wedding ring, and suffering

Darling, Can I go out in this dress

Yes dear it’s already dark out there

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon, and the husband suggests, ” Darling, why don’t you brew us some tea?”

The wife seems to be confused: “But honey, that’s your task, right?”

Husband- “What? Why?”

“It’s all over the bible, dear.”

“The bible says nothing about who’s supposed to prepare tea” husband replies

Why not the wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random:

“See, Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews”

A little girl looked at her dad at a wedding function, and asked, “Daddy, why is the girl dressed all in white”

“That girl is called as the bride, and she wears white because she is very happy and this is the happiest day of her life” her father answered,

The girl nods and then said, “Ok, and why is the boy all in black.”

Darling, do you think I gained weight?

No, not at all, I think the bedroom got smaller

 “My darling, we could dismiss the maid and save money if you learned how to cook, don’t you think?”

His wife:

“Of course’! We could send away the driver if you studied how to make love, don’t you think?”

Husband to wife: U don’t love me like before.

WIFE points towards their five children & say- Do you think I downloaded these from Google

Wife: Had your breakfast?

Husband: Had your breakfast?

Wife: I am asking you

HusbandI am asking you

Wife: You are copying me?

Husband: You are copying me?

Wife: let’s go shopping

Husband: Yes I had my breakfast

Funny Jokes for Friends

Jokes for Whatsapp for friends

Today I’ve decided to end our friendship, but I realized that you know all of my darkest secrets, so we will have to continue this relationship till the end of time. Just kidding, buddy. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.

I’m just thinking about what an amazing friend I am. You should feel lucky to have someone as beautiful as me in your life, and I hope you understand that. Don’t you ever let me go.

Hakuna Matata! I’ve just realized that you are Pumbaa to my Timon. When life says “what?!”, we always turn it into “so what!”. Also, you are just as big and stinky as Pumbaa is. Just kidding, buddy, relax.

I wish you could understand how hard it is to be friends with someone like you through all these years. Oh, poor me! You wouldn’t be able to make it this far. Okay, don’t be mad! I still love you, bud.

Your sense of humor is just as ridiculous as mine. This is the only reason I keep you. Nobody else can understand my jokes. Okay, I still love you, mate.

Sister and Brother Jokes for Whatsapp

So you are distantly associated with the family next door, are you? Yes- their dog is our dog’s brother.

Mum: Why does your brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Daniel: My little brother is a real pain. Nanny: Things could be worse. Daniel: How? Nanny: He could be twins!

Peter: My brother wants to work badly! Anita: As I remember, he usually does!

Boy: Because he read the label, and it said that shake well before using.

Mummy: What are you doing with that saw, and where’s your little brother?

Young: Hee, hee! He’s my half-brother now!

Big Brother: That planet over there is Mars. Little Brother: Then, alternative one should be Pa s.

Dad: Don’t be selfish. Let your brother use the sled some time. Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill, and he gets to use it coming back up!

Did the bionic monster have a brother? No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

My sister is so stupid she thinks that a cartoon is a song that you can sing in a car

The younger brother told me that he was going to buy a sea horse. Elder Brother: Why? Little Brother replies that he wants to play water polo!

One day a little boy came home from school and said to his mother, I hate my sister’s guts. All right, answered his mother, I won’t put them in your sandwiches again.

Alman was listening to his sister practicing her song, and he said, sis, I wish you’d sing Christmas carols. That’s nice of you, Alman, she replied. Why ?.

Family Jokes for Whatsapp

Doctor! My sister thinks she’s an elevator. Tell her to come in. I can’t. She doesn’t stop at this floor.

Michael: It’s hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why? Michael: She can’t bear to stop talking.

What’s your father’s occupation? The school secretary asked on the first day of the new academic year. He’s a conjurer, Ma’am, said the new boy. How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?

Do robots have sisters? No, just transistors!

My sister told me that she wished to marry someone clever enough to make lots of money but dumb enough to spend it on her!

Mother: Jorge, get your little sister’s hat out of that puddle. Jorge replied I couldn’t mum; she’s got it strapped too tight under her chin!

The oliceman asked why your sister jumped out of the window. Brother told that she wished to try out her new spring suit

 Teacher: What’s this a picture of?

Students: Don’t know, Miss.

Teacher: It’s a kangaroo.

Students: What’s a kangaroo, miss?

Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia.

Smallest boy: Wow, my sister’s married one of them

Sister: Mother wants you to come and help me fixing dinner.

Brother: Why? Is it broken?

Brother: Where has farther gone- New York town or the moon? Sister: New York town. Why do you ask like that? Brother: Well, I see the moon; however, I can’t see New York town.