Whatsapp Funny Jokes

Top 50 Dad Jokes in 2020

Hi, Welcome to My Dad Jokes article. It is full of funny jokes and phrases that will be suitable to give to your dad. They will be happy so much. So do not be late. Hurry up, Guys. Pick up the best one!

Mom Jokes? Then Read our Top 50 Mom Jokes

  1. Dad gladly leaves the hospital and says to his son: Well, my dear son, now you have a sister! Then son replies: Dad, it’s not fair. You promised me a parrot!
  2. A father asks his son: Well, what have you done today? Then the son replies: At the bus stop, I saw an aunt catching a bus. I let go of my rottweiler, and my aunt caught up with the bus.
  3. Dad, they bother me at school. They say that my parents are uneducated! Then dad asks: What is school, son!
  4. Dad, give me five dollars! Then dada says: Son, you are already big to ask me for a little. Again son asks: You’re right, dad, give a thousand!
  5. A boy drew a dad and showed him his drawing: You drew well, but why is my hair yellow? Then the son replies: Because I did not find white paint.
  6. A Teacher says to a naughty girl: If you study like this, your dad will have grey hair. Then she replies: Dad will be pleased because he is bald!
  7. Dad: Is it true that the hare’s hair turns white in winter? And why is my grey hat still not whitened?
  8. A little son asks: Dad, are you scared of hares? Then he says: Of course not! Why did you speak like that? Then son asks: Then why do you bring a dog and a gun with you when you go hunting?
  9. Dad, did the dinosaurs have any enemies? Yes, Meteorites.
  10. A husband, wife, and little son are returning after a party. Late evening son asks: Dad, Why is the moon so big? The father replies: Who knows, son. Then again, the son asks: Why are the stars so small? Still, dad answers: Stars? And who knows, son? Suddenly mom says: Enough, son! Give dad a break! See, he’s tired! Then the father answers: No, no. Let him ask, who will explain everything to him except his father?
  11. Dad, why is expired yoghurt turning green? These peaceful bacteria put on a military uniform and then become a biological weapon, son.
  12. A girl says to the teacher: Dad said that we are descended from a monkey! Then the teacher answers: Sit down! Your family story doesn’t interest me!
  13. A son annoys his father with questions: Dad, tell me, is the Pacific Ocean always quiet? Then Father replies angrily: Son, ask me a more serious question! He asks: You are welcome! Why did the Dead Sea die?
  14. A son comes to his dad, who is a programmer and asks: Dad, how do you spell “address”? With two “s” or one? Then the dad replies: With three “W”, son!
  15. Dad, are these animals like that? No son, the same people as you and me.
  16. A guy screams under the windows: Darling, you’re the only mine! My Dad looks out instead of me and shouts: Young man! She will become yours when you pay her for telephone calls and the Internet. In the meantime, she was mine as my mother!
  17. Dad, vodka price has risen! Will you drink less? Dad replies: No, son, you’ll eat less.
  18. A teacher was tired of making endless bad behavior of a boy. Once she told him: I wish I could be your mother for at least three days. I would quickly reeducate you. Then he replied: Good, I’ll talk with my dad. Maybe he will agree.
  19. A student asks the teacher: Madam, what is the difference between a man and a woman? Then she asks: What is your dad’s foot size? – Forty-third. Then she asks: And what is your mom’s foot size? Thirty-sixth. Then she replies: So, the difference is in between their legs 
  20. A dad says to his fourteen-year-old daughter: If you behave like a good girl, you will receive a silver bracelet from me as a gift. Then she replies: But, Dad, he gave me gold for acting like a bad girl.
  21. A son quarrels with his parents: I’m tired of being with you all the time, always arriving on time. I want romance, freedom, cool girls, and beer. That’s it. I’m leaving and don’t try to hold me back! At the exit, his father catches him at the door. Boy asks: Dad, why didn’t you hear? I told you not even to try to stop me. Then dad replies: Wait a minute! I’m with you.
  22. At a gas station, a daughter asks her father: Dad, when the car eats a lot of gasoline, will it grow and become a bus?
  23. Son to father: Dad, I’m going to get married. Father to son: Before you get married, son, you must understand that the family will be everything to you. Therefore, you must think about what is most important to you. Everything or the family?
  24. A son: Dad, I want a gun! Dad shouts at him: Do not talk nonsense! Leave me alone! Again boy cries: I want a gun! Then dad asks: Stop yelling! Who is the head of this house? Suddenly boy replies: Of course you! But if I had a gun?
  25. A teacher asks the children about what their parents do. One dad is a businessman; the other is a farm manager; the third is a store owner. Then she asks from a boy called John: my dad is an engineer. All the students start to laugh. Teacher: Children! Shame on you! This boy is in big pain, and you laugh.
  26. Once Dad agreed with his son that he would allow him to ride on a swing if he would let his Dad drink a glass of beer. In the evening, mom came, took off the wet son from the park, and picked up the dopped Dad.
  27. Two parents talks at a family gathering to their son: Son! Let’s start a new life from Monday! I quit going to the Gym. Dad will quit smoking. And you? Son replies: I can drop out of school.
  28. A son: Dad, tell me, are potatoes very useful? Yes, son. Dad, is sour cream very useful? Well, of course, son. Dad, then buy me chips with sour cream.
  29. A little son came from school and said to his dad: Dad, today, my teacher told us about an insect that lives only one day. Then dad replies: That’s great! Son: Why is it great? Then dad replies: Imagine you can celebrate your birthday all your life!
  30. John, why don’t you go out to play in our yard? I can’t. I have a very strict father. While he is doing my homework, I must be with him!
  31. Dad, will the financial crisis affect us? No, son, it will affect those who have a lot of money, but we will end not effect!
  32. Why are you crying, Little Johnny? Mom told dad that he was a goat, and dad told mom that she was a cow. Then, who am I?
  33. Little Johnny comes home: Dad, this is Masha; she will live with us. Dad asks: How long? An hour.
  34. Father and son went fishing. Father: Son, give me some bread to feed. Son: I ate it. Father: Then give me some porridge. Again son: I ate it too. Finally, angry father: Then eat up the worms and let’s go home!
  35. A boy comes to a dad and asks: Dad, let’s go with you to that circus. Dad replies: Oh, son, they’re showing nonsense. Then boy replies: I saw an advertisement. Aunts ride naked on lions! Suddenly dada replies: Well, maybe it’s better to go. I haven’t seen lions for a long time.
  36. In a summer resident, a neighbour saw a boy climbing onto an apple tree in his area. Then he threatened him: Here I’ll talk to your father! The boy looked up and shouted: Dad, this Uncle wants to talk to you.
  37. My dad is well done. Yesterday, He went through two wars, and then he got tired, turned off the computer, and went to bed.
  38. Dad, is it true that adults have more dictionary than children? Then da replies: Of course, it’s true. After all, they read books more. Then son asks suddenly: Then why do they talk so little in adult films?
  39. A son says to his father: Dad, they call you back to school! I broke a window in the classroom. Dad asks: Well, what is it! How many windows do they have there? Then the son replies: It is not a school, but some kind of greenhouse!
  40. One day, a teacher asks the students: What do you want to become when you grow up? Every one shout as a doctor, a lawyer and so on. Then she asks from one bad boy John: I want to become a fool. She asks: Why, John? Then John replies: Because every day when my father and I leave the house in the morning, he often says to me pointing our neighbour uncle, Kane: Look, what a magnificent home this fool has! Or Look what a cool car of this fool has! 
  41. Dad, here in this magazine it is written that masturbation significantly weakens sight. Is it true? He replies: Read for me. I can’t find my glasses anywhere.
  42. A little girl is talking with her father: Dad, I dreamed today that you gave me a small chocolate bar. Then he replies: Imagine you will obey and will be given a big one.
  43. A little boy runs to his mom, crying. She asks: What happened, baby? Then boy replies: Dad hit himself with a hammer on his finger. Again mom asks surprisingly: Why are you crying? Then the boy replies: Because I laughed!
  44. Mom says to her daughter: Daughter, bring five plates! Then she asks: Why so much? Suddenly mom replies: I need to talk with your dad.
  45. Dad, Who did you want? Boy or girl? Son, I just wanted to have fun!
  46. A small cute son walks around the zoo with his dad. The son asks the cage of the lion: Dad, if this lion eats you, what bus number should I get to go home?
  47. Dad, how to hold a hammer so that you don’t hit your fingers on your fingers? With two hands, fool.
  48. A son asks his father: Dad, what women are less cheating on husbands? Blondes? Dark haired, brown haired? Or red? Then dad replies: You see, son, only white hair can give at-least a little guarantee.
  49. Dad, can I sit at your computer table? Yes, you can, but don’t turn it on!
  50. Dad, what is a litre? The same as the meter, only in liquid form!

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