Whatsapp Funny Jokes

Top 50 Valentine day Jokes for Whatsapp in 2020

Hi Lovers, What are you looking for? You want something very, very special and gifted thing to make your girlfriend or boyfriend more surprised on your special day, Valentine’s day? Then you are in the right place. Find out Most funny Top 50 Valentine day Jokes for Whatsapp below. I tell you that you are going to face a tuff work of picking one joke from them. Have fun!

  1. I have no one to spend on February 14. It’s so sad. Other one says: You have no one to spend with every other day of the year. Why is it February 14 that makes you especially upset?
  2. Stop complaining that you will be alone on February 14. You never know how fate will turn out. Maybe you won’t live at all after that.
  3. To somehow celebrate Valentine’s Day, February 14 make an appointment with a gynaecologist.
  4. On February 14, I will cut a middle part out of sausage and give it to my beloved cat.
  5. February 14… February 23… March 8…And let us join them as one holiday: International Day of Women in Love with Guardians of the World!
  6. On February 14, I will give my beloved a new sofa blanket.
  7. February 14, I went to a flower shop to buy a bouquet of roses for my wife. After i entered, I understood that it would not be possible to do this quickly, because the whole store was full of the same “lovers” like me. I was waiting calmly for my turn. So that the young lady behind the counter arranged a bouquet for me. At this time, the door opened, and a charming man came into the store with a very outstanding appearance. While Entering, he looked at this counter that was going on in the flower shop. He said only one phrase: Already packed. Damn it, another March 8!
  8. A beautiful phrase said on the bus by a woman on Valentine’s Day: To hell, you bought these flowers with my money?
  9. Do not get fooled by couples! February 14 is an ordinary day! – Valentine day Jokes
  10. A boy asks: Darling, what would you like as a present for Valentine’s Day? The girlfriend replies A bag of snakeskin. Then he says: It is costly. Suddenly she replies: Then let me read your messages on WhatsApp. 
  11. Being alone on Valentine’s Day is the same as being alone the rest 364 days of the year. Do not make a tragedy out of it.
  12. If you safely survived Valentine’s Day, do not praise yourself. You will soon reach to the other one, March 8!
  13. Listen, have you already decided on whom you will celebrate Valentine’s Day?
  14. February 14 is coming soon. I thought about what to give myself for this holiday.
  15. Banner on the Butcher’s store on February 14: If you buy 1 kg of chopped meat, you don’t get a heart.
  16. Two lovers are talking: Tell me, dear, if I refuse to become your wife, will you commit suicide? Then the boy answers: Undoubtedly, dear! Then the girl says: I always do this in situations like this.
  17. Two turtles (male and female) are walking lovely along the beach holding each other’s hands. An hour later, only the male returns. One friend asks: Where is your wife? Then he answers: She stayed there. She forgot to hold my hand.
  18. Darling, I dreamed that we were making love in space. The boy replies: Yes? Fantastic! Just think! Make love!
  19. On February 14 a man comes to a shop: Give me that red velvet ass, please. Then shop owner says: Man, this is not an ass, but a heart! Then he replies: You know, I’ve been working as a heart surgeon for 20 years. Give me that red velvet ass.
  20. Pharmacy on Valentine’s Day: Hello. Over!
  21. February 14 – Sex Day for Revenge. March 8 – Revenge Day for the sex.
  22. It’s dark in the cinema. The eyes of all the viewers are pointing on directly to the screen. There are love, kisses, warm hugs. The heroes are lying on the bed as soon as the hero lover begins to move to more vigorous actions. Then suddenly the heroine drags him, angrily pointing to the camera: Are you mad? People are watching!
  23. The wife asks her husband: What will you give me for this valentine? The husband says: I will rape you. Then she asks: And if I don’t give you? Then he replies: Well, then I will go like a fool without a gift! 
  24. The most significant Valentine gift is a mother. It hides inside her.
  25. On Valentine’s Day, a woman receives a gift from a man or cut his call for not receiving a gift. But in both cases, she will enjoy.
  26. A wife asks her husband: Honey, what will you give me for Valentine’s Day and March 8? He asks: And if nothing? Then she says: Well, then you won’t get anything on February 23! Then suddenly he says: Okay well, thank God, agreed!
  27. A wife suddenly caught her husband in the supermarket on Valentine’s Day. In his hands, he carried a gorgeous pink flower bouquet. She jokes: Hope this is for me? Yes, a female voice from behind.
  28. I do not want to live with such a tightness as you, here is your engagement ring. Then the boy asks suddenly: Where is the box?
  29. She was hurt in the morning: Honey, have you forgotten what day it is? He confused: Which? She: Valentine’s Day! Remember? Well, so where will you drive me today? He answered with the appearance of an educated genius: To the church! She asked in surprise: Why? He: Let’s light a candle for St. Valentine!
  30. A saying for Valentine’s Day: We will always be together like bread and butter.
  31. Time to love is always for true lovers. After all, there is nothing more annoying than passion on a schedule. Time to enjoy: It will not end while we are alive.
  32. If love gives strength, it is a crime not to say thank you.
  33. Married women claim that a man’s opinion of a girl “before the wedding” and “after the wedding” changes diametrically! Before the wedding, he says: You are so cool: You are a real person, and you eat too much after the wedding.
  34. A wife comes and asks from his husband: Honey, how will you love me? What did you learn? He says: Well, you will bark, I will sink.
  35. By Valentine’s Day, I already bought six pieces of the postcard with the saying “To my one and only.
  36. On Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you the truth – sooner or later you will be abandoned, disappointed and forgotten. Happy holiday!
  37. A mirror said to me on Valentine’s Day: I love you! More than anyone else in the world !!! You are my only, beloved, and the best girl in my life.
  38. I don’t understand. Why can’t women turn February 14 into March 7? Husband’s money will be saved. 
  39. My grandfather said that as soon as he saw the Titanic, he immediately announced that this ship would sink. But no one listened to him. He tried to warn people, even shouted, but everything was useless. He was given a kick and put out of the cinema.
  40. Have you already shaved your Valentine? Happy holiday!
  41. After a party for Valentine’s Day, a wife said while looking at her husband: Listen to me, Hubby Has anyone already told you that you are the most sexually attractive man in the world? The husband suddenly melted from these words: No. No one said that. You are the first, my love! Then she answered: Well, what the f*ck were you doing like that at that party?
  42. A wife asks: Dear, please explain to me who this is with you in bed? His husband answers: Have you forgotten what day it is today? It is a Valentine! 
  43. A husband asks: Honey, what would you like for February 14? Then his wife says: Visit the beautician to clean the face. Then he answers laughing: Good. So, if they ask me what I gave, I can safely answer that I cleared the nose.  
  44. A woman is less jealous than a man. She does not mind if women love their men. It’s just how is she is categorically against her man.
  45. February 14. Honey, happy holiday to you! In the morning, do not be angry!
  46. Two women are busy with choosing postcards on Valentine’s Day. One says: Look how beautiful it is to my cat! Other one says: Buy something to your goat?
  47. What is the difference between a couple of frogs and a couple of lovers thinking about sitting on the riverbank? 
  48. A note to her husband on Valentine’s Day: Hunny, take the child from the kindergarten! Do not worry, he will recognise you.
  49. While you wait for your only man for life, you can sometimes get married.
  50. Recipe for lovers: To make the kiss sweet and hot, take your girlfriend, put two slices of sugar in her mouth, pour boiling water and mix thoroughly with a teaspoon.

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