Funny Jokes

Top 50 Mom Jokes in 2023

Hi Guys, Welcome to my Mom jokes world! Why are you still waiting for? Go and search the best jokes to send to your mom. It will be such fun that you can’t even imagine! So do not be late! 

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  1. A schoolboy found a million bucks and handed them to the police. A crying mother pretended to be proud of him.
  2. The teacher wrote in the student’s diary: Mary is a terrible talker. The next day Mary returns the diary with her father’s reply: Then you should listen to her mother!
  3. Mom, why are you so angry? Did you fall off the broom?
  4. A son asks his mom: Mom, why does dad have so little hair on his head? Then mom replies: He thinks a lot. Suddenly he asks: Then why do you have so much hair on your head? Angry mom: Come on. Better eat your breakfast, son.
  5. A son asks his mother: Mom, is it true that I was born at night? Mom replies: Yes. Then he says: I hope I didn’t wake you.
  6. Mom, why did the stork bring a brother? But you found me in the cabbage? The stork dropped you.
  7. A boy says, Mom! The teacher told us to draw who we want to be. I didn’t do anything because I don’t know how to draw it. I want to get married.
  8. On January 1, a girl came home in the morning. Mother strictly asks her: With whom did you hang around all night? The daughter replies displeasedly: With Santa Claus. Then mom asks: Aren’t you ashamed to stagger with an older man? It is not known what can be expected of them. Then the daughter answers: Unfortunately, nothing but sweets, mother.
  9. In an apartment, a guy is drilling a wall with a puncher. His mother-in-law comes into the room and starts shouting at him: Go to eat son-in-law, I cooked! He stops the work and says: Mom, your bladdy yelling! The child is sleeping!
  10. According to a Dad, a bad joke is? When mom says she is taking birth control pills, and then you appear. According to a mom, a bad joke is? When a dad says that he runs the company, and after your birth, it turns out that this is a company of drinking friends.
  11. A guy went to a zoo with his son. His son pulled dad by the sleeve and said: Dad, Dad, look! Highlighted horse! Dad says tiredly: No, Son, this is a zebra. It is our mother, a highlighted horse.
  12. Why are you crying, Little Johnny? Mom told dad that he was a goat, and dad told mom that she was a cow. Well, so what? Suddenly crying boy asks: Then, who am I?
  13. Little Johnny comes to the pharmacy and asks: Do you have condoms? The pharmacist surprisingly says: Firstly, condoms are not for children, and secondly, tell dad to come and choose his size. To that, he replies: Firstly, condoms are not for children, but from children, and secondly, mom is not at home and still does not know what size it will be.
  14. A worried young mother is continually crying for her child at the pediatrician’s reception and asks: Doctor, tell me, is there anything against this? The doctor calmly replies: Yes, birth control.
  15. Once a daughter asks her mother: Mom, who is this hairy uncle with red eyes? Then her mom replies: It is your dad, daughter. Then she asks: Did he get sick? After that, mom says: No, he connected to the Internet.
  16. What is the difference between a mother and a terrorist? You can still agree with the terrorist.
  17. In a shop, a boy threatens his mother: Oh, so you do not want to buy me chocolate candy? Well, then, I will call my grandma.
  18. A friend comes and asks from another friend: Ah, I heard. You are getting married! How do you like your future wife? Then he answers: Oh, how many people? So many opinions. Mom likes it, but I don’t.
  19. A mom asks her first-grader on her first day of school: Well, how was your first day at school? Then little one replies soon: The first day? Don’t tell me that I have to go there again tomorrow!
  20. A boy says to his mom: Mom, the uncle does not have a single hair on his head. Suddenly, mom shouts: Shut up! Otherwise, the uncle will hear. Then he asks: But doesn’t he know that?
  21. A pregnant daughter calls her mother: Hello, mother, it seems to me that I’m starting to give birth! Then her mom asks: Daughter, be calm! Did you call an ambulance? Yes, mom. Then again, she asks: Did you get things together? Then her daughter replies: Yes, I took a laptop. I took a charger.
  22. A son comes and tells his mom: Mom, this is Leesha, she will live with us. She is a perfect, smart girl, does not drink, does not smoke, and I swear! Suddenly his mom replies: So with Masha, everything is clear, and who is she?
  23. My mom said: Yes, leave your laptop here. You will soon go to the toilet with this! She doesn’t know it yet.
  24. A Jewish boy visited the circus for the first time, came home, and with respect, told his mother: Mom, everything was so great! The performers, magicians, and the trainer with the tigers and the actors are so funny. In the second part, a motorcycle racer rode on the walls! When I grow up, I will also learn to ride a motorcycle and get attraction like that! A wise mother answers: Son, a Jew on a bike is already an attraction, why else ride on the walls?
  25. Son, I’m playing football with you, going fishing, and you’re still unhappy. Why are you sad? A man in the role of father and mother.
  26. Mom, mom, I was bitten by a snake, I urgently need a medicine. Then mom says: Okay, son, I’ll buy it now, but it’s like your birthday.
  27. A girl says to her mom: Mom! My lips are weathered! Then mom replies: I told you. Winter is outside! Babies need to be covered!
  28. A daughter says to her mom: Mom, I’m pregnant. Then mom asks: You already have a fourth child, and that’s all from John! Why didn’t you marry him yet? Then she answers: I do not like him.
  29. An angry son: Mom, look, soup! Do you have any bread? Mom says: Eat without bread!
  30. A teacher asks an absent student: Why weren’t you at school yesterday? Then the boy says: We have an addition to the family. The teacher asks: Wow, Brother, or sister? Then the boy replies: No, Mom finally got married.
  31. A taxi driver took the passengers, a woman with a child. After they get on the taxi, and the child talks to himself: Now, if my dad was an elephant, and my mother is an elephant, then I would be an elephant; if dad was a wolf, the mother is a wolf, I would be a wolf. A taxi driver is already tired and asks: Listen, boy, if your dad was a goat, and the mother is also a goat, who would you be? The clever boy answered: A taxi driver
  32. After lunch, I complain that my child does not help me at all with washing dishes. And it’s like domestic slavery every day. My daughter looks at me in amazement and then says: Mom, get all the dishes dirty again! I’ll wash them again!
  33. The party is good. But at home, mom doesn’t allow.
  34. A boy asks his mom: Mom, what does the car eat? Gasoline. Again he asks: Drink? Also gasoline. Suddenly he says: Just like in kindergarten—everyday breakfast.
  35. A mom asks his son to test him: Little Johnny, if an uncle gave you candy, what will you say? Suddenly he says A night with mom costs $ 100. Then angry mom: Aren’t you ashamed, idiot? Without understanding anything, he asks again: Should I be ashamed, mommy?
  36. Mom, why are there two drunken grandfathers sleeping in my bedroom? Yesterday was your grandmother’s birthday.
  37. A son writes a letter to his mother from Africa: Dear mother, Ann gave birth to my son while I was on a business trip. She says that he was born white, but since she did not have milk and was fed by a black woman. Then he turned black. Mother’s answer was: Dear son when I gave birth to you, I also didn’t have any milk, and a cow fed you, but your horns grew up only after the 33rd year of life!
  38. A tired surgeon finally leaves the operating room. A joyfully well-dressed man comes hurriedly to him and says: Thank you very much for my mother, professor. I owe you an unpaid debt. Then the doctor asks: Excuse me, are you a son or a son-in-law of that operated patient?
  39. A guy says: Lucia, we can’t meet anymore, I have a permanent woman, which is serious. Then his girlfriend understands him and asks: Did your mom return from the home?
  40. A student writes to his mother: Mommy, send me warm socks, but just wrap them so that they do not get dirty from cheese and sausage.
  41. A student arrives home after the holidays and shouts from the doorway: Mom, now I have a boy. Mom replies: My joy, where does he study? Then she replies: What are you? He is only two months old!
  42. A girl comes home: Mom, that john asked me to climb a tree. Then mom replies: Daughter, he wanted to see your panties. The next day the girl comes home and happily says mom: Mom, today also john asked me to climb a tree, but I was smart. I hid my panties in my pocket.
  43. My advice to all of my friends: Please do not pick up when my mother calls. You can not answer her. After all, after the tenth call, I am pretended as missing or lie with my throat cut.
  44. How many times has your mother been married? I’m even uncomfortable to say. But still Once.
  45. A wife shouts: You bastard! Scoundrel! I’m leaving you! It’s over between us! Give me money for a ticket, Bastard; I’m going for mom. Her husband gives the money to her and asks: What about a return ticket?
  46. I helped my son of 5 years old to dress for school yesterday. My husband passed by and started making jokes about our son: Oh, little boy! Mom dresses you! Our son’s answer was: Oh, oh, you sleep with your mother every day, like a little one!
  47. Mom, can my friends come to our home today? It’s impossible. We haven’t filled our refrigerator for your friends!
  48. A son asks mom: Mom, do angels fly? Yes, darling. But why? The son replies: Yesterday, dad called our maid an angel. So when will she fly? Angry mom replies Tomorrow morning.
  49. A daughter asks her mother: Mom, why does Santa Claus have a red nose? Then mom replies: Come on. You have not seen the rest.
  50. A mom is calling her son to send him to school: Little Johnny, you have to go to school! Then lazy boy: Mom, I have a temperature of thirty-six and that and six! Then mom replies: It is a reasonable temperature. Wow, it’s normal. In total, forty-two!

John Max

John Max is the founder of TimesHQ and former senior engineer of WhatsApp. He wrote many e books and well known for many mobile app developments. He is very professional in both software and mobile app development field. 

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