Best Whatsapp Jokes In All Time (2020)

WhatsApp status is the best way to express who you are. It truly is an expression, written and in an exact way to share one’s ideas, views and feelings in an innovative way. These best 100 Whatsapp jokes in english, could express much with their little figure! So let’s have a look following Whatsapp jokes which is too eye-catching, perfect and finest.

Latest Funny Jokes

Latest Funny Jokes
  1. Justice is a best-served meal as cold If it were served as warm, it would be just water.
  2. My bother always says, “cheer up, man, it could be worse; you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
  3. Two Police Officers Crash Their Car Into A Tree. After the crash, one of them says, “Great, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”
  4. My daughter wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told her to leave me alone, and when she did, father- asked why she was ignoring me.
  5. Laziness is the god of all bad habits, but ultimately he is a god, and we should respect him!
  6. “I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I used to teach a class that if one more person talks, everybody is going to jail.
  7. I’m not afraid to die, and I don’t want to be there when it happens.
  8. I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless. I said, ‘It’s nice to see so many bums on seats.
  9. Once a dog was in front of a Christmas tree. “Finally, they put the lights in the bathroom!”
  10. I am originally from Indiana. I know most of you are thinking: Indiana. 
  11. Two blondes are in the woods to look for a Christmas tree. After two hours of intense searching, one says to the other: “I’ve had enough! We take the next tree we see even if it has no decorations.”
  12. I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
  13. I want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  14. Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
  15. I’m not lazy. I’m very relaxed.
  16. Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
  17. I’m really poor. I can’t even pay attention!
  18. Hey there! Whatsapp is using me.

Funny One Liners

Funny One Liners
  1. The problem with burglary is that they always take things literally
  2. Never give up on your dreams; keep sleeping.
  3. I need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
  4. That kid didn’t help at all.
  5. I Love my carrier only when I’m on vacation.
  6. A lovely man, a terrible cabinet maker.
  7. I always approach at the office lately, but I correct it by leaving early.
  8. Follow my advice, and I don’t use it anyway.
  9. I Just saw the most fabulous person when I was in front of the mirror. 
  10. You can never buy love, but still, you have to pay for it.
  11. I’m too lazy to stop being lazy.
  12. I had constipation problems, but as soon as I saw you, I solved it.
  13. I’m not running away from hard work as I’m too lazy to run.
  14. I want to lose weight, but I hate losing.
  15. Cooked funny bone, becomes a laughing stock.
  16. I always knock on the fridge before I open it.
  17. Just in case there’s a salad dressing.
  18. When I was younger, my parents sent me to a child psychologist.
  19. My grandpa always used to say, “as one door closes, another opens.”
  20. Working at an unemployment office must be so tense.
  21. Even if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
  22. Women’s everlasting theory I’m sorry, but it was your fault.
  23. When I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 
  24. I need someone to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
  25. When you get richer, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  26. I prefer talking to myself as I am my consultant.
  27. The most embarrassing thing I ever tried was being normal.
  28. My father is schizophrenia, but he’s good people.
  29. When I go through my family tree and found out that I was the sap

Best Funny Questions

Best Funny Questions
  1. Is it true that carrots are good for your eyesight? Yeah Sure! Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
  2. Who has connections to Connecticut? That’s a place where rich people go to live the rest of their life in the woods.
  3. Hello there, I’m talking to you, why are you reading my status?
  4. Hey you, yeah you. The one reading this. Wanna know a secret? You’re beautiful. Don’t ever give up.
  5. Hey, you are reading my status again? It’s a funny questions to ask a girl
  6. How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
  7. Does my wife think I’m a control freak? I haven’t decided yet.
  8. Do you know what this shirts made out of? Boyfriend material.

Adult Funny Jokes – Dirty Jokes

Adult Funny Jokes Dirty Jokes
  1. There’s a reason why it’s called ‘girls gone wild’ and not ‘women gone wild’. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When woman goes wild, kill husband and her kids in a tub
  2. I am going to tell you a joke about my vagina, but you will never get it.
  3. Please sit on my lap darling and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up
  4. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. She can move the head anywhere she wants.
  5. I asked my wife to dress like a doctor tonight to fulfil my fantasy that we have healthcare.
  6. I tried to re-marry my ex-husband. But he figured out I was only after my money
  7. Tell her a joke on Wednesday

Best Funny Conversation

Best Funny Conversation
  1. Doctor-Tell me what the problem is The patient begins to touch several part of his body saying, “I feel so much pain here, here, there… but also here, there, here, and there… what happened to me?” The doctor replied: “Idiot! Don’t you see that you broke your toe?!”
  2. How was your dinner in the outdoor restaurant? Bad, it started to rain, and it took me an hour to finish the broth! “I think I’m a dog …”.“Lie down on the couch …”.“Oh! Thank you! At home, they don’t let me lie on the sofa!”
  3. One day a little boy came home from school and said to his mother, I hate my sister’s guts. All right, answered his mother, I won’t put them in your sandwiches again.
    1. Wait for Me Honey, I’m Just Finishing My Make-Up.
    2. You Don’t Need Make-Up, Jane.
    3. Oh, Richard…. Really? That Is So Sweet Of You!
    4. You Need Plastic Surgery.
    1. Husband- Dear you have received an invitation for a wedding
    2. Wife answered- Maybe next time. Thanks
    1. Me: I race cars. Her:
    2. Do you win many races?
    3. Me: No, the cars are much faster. My wife just opened the car door for me. It might have been a nice gesture had we not been driving at 70 mph. 
  4. Teacher asked one of the student, what is the longest word in the English language? One boy says ‘Smiles’ as there is one mile distance between its first and last letters.
  5. A dog is walking with a bone in its mouth. It meets a cat who asks it: “Why do you keep the bone in your mouth?” It replies: “Because I don’t have pockets.”
  6. “Excuse me sir, could you tell me the way to the cemetery?” “Do you see that curve? Well, you go straight ahead!”

Best Husband Wife Jokes

Best Husband Wife Jokes
  1. In every house husband is the boss, a wife is just the decision-maker.
  2. Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.
  3. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  4. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  5. Behind every successful man, a woman is rolling her eyes.
  6. The most beautiful three words which wants to hear for a married woman than i love you is No Cooking Today
  7. I thought I won an argument with my wife about how to rearrange our furniture, but when I got home, the tables were turned
  8. Marriage is and institution of three rings. Engagement ring, Wedding ring and suffering
  9. Darling, Can I go out in this dress. Yes dear it’s already dark out there
  10. I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.

Best Jokes for Friends

Best Jokes for Friends
  1. I dream of being a millionaire always like my aunty! She’s dreaming too.
  2. Everybody thinks I am athletic. I surf the Internet every day.
  3. “How are you? Today I heard that a body was found without a brain, please tell me you’re okay.”
  4. One of my friend  trying to convince me he’s a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe him
  5. I’m just thinking about what an amazing friend I am. You should feel lucky to have someone as beautiful as me in your life, I hope you understand that. Don’t you ever let me go.
  6. I wish you could understand how hard it is to be friends with someone like you through all these years. Oh, poor me! You wouldn’t be able to make it this far. Okay, don’t be mad! I still love you, bud.
  7. Your sense of humor is just as ridiculous as mine. This is the only reason I keep you. Nobody else can understand my jokes. Okay, I still love you, mate.
  8. Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
  9. My friends say I’m crazy. I prefer to hear mentally hilarious.
  10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Best Economics Jokes

Best Economics Jokes
  1. I’m not lethargic. I’m on energy-saving mode.
  2. I got the news that my boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch; it might be me.
  3. As your regular customer, why can’t you give me some discount dear daily problems 
  4. I’m not lethargic. I like the term “selective participation.”

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