Funny WhatsApp Status – Best Collection 2020

When you want to amuse your friends, look at this list, and you will find funny whatsapp status. Our WhatsApp funny status and sayings will certainly cheer up everyone who is lucky enough to see them. 

Short Whatsapp Status

  • The whole world has peace, and I have ice cream.
  • Damn, I forgot to listen to the advice of outsiders about how to live right.
  • The last days of November passed, goosebumps tore tights.
  • In the male body, the heart is not the only organ you cannot order !!! 
  • Love is so evil that there aren’t enough bucks at all!
  • As you know, Alcohol kills brain cells. But only those who refuse to drink!
  • Some people need someone who can only advise on time
  • New biology textbooks came out. Everything was painted beautifully
  • I have already selected those people on whom I will shit if I become a bird.
  • Nothing decorates a person more than friendship with one’s head
  • A real woman has three ages: youth, second youth, and eternal youth.
  • Childhood is a time when you still don’t know how to think indecently 
  • Lord, restart this world!
  • Dogs running after cars are the souls of fired traffic cops
  • Good girls are good at maps but bad at playing and smart at credit
  • No need to look for the pros and cons in me – I’m not a battery.
  • In the early morning, there is nothing better than coffee. 
  • Money is not evil because evil does not disappear so quickly.
  • A winning lottery means that without losing, you will not leave in any case.
  • My final decision: no bad words are used in my vocabulary 
  • The sex-change operation was unsuccessful. I am incredibly angry.
  • He called her a chicken, and she immediately laid his eggs with one blow. 
  • Write the word “VATMAN.” Many will read – “BATMAN.”
  • I got on the scales, and they wrote to me, “But you’re beautiful !!”
  • Men, why do you hate gays? They love you!
  • A slim patch must be glued on the mouth! It works better that way.
  • I am at a great age: and I can, want, and I know how!
  • Nothing annoys a girl like everyone else.
  • There are a lot of beautiful ones, my dear one.
  • Friendship is a friendship, but I want to kiss.
  • Never try to catch a falling Plant !!!
  • The heart is “knock-knock,” and so every time you stand next.
  • Let’s smile at each other while we stand in a traffic jam!  
  • Life is brown anyway! Either in shit or chocolate.
  • Morning is such a part of the day when you want to be unemployed!
  • Don’t run from the sniper. You will die tired
  • Yes, I see you. The brain does not satisfy with smart thoughts..
  • Do not smile. I have been afraid of horses since childhood. 
  • Once I understood, I liked it. Then I decided to apply it to my life 
  • Life needs to be lived so that Google knows about it.

Status in Question

  • Will, a black cat, bring you misfortune, mainly depends on whether you are a human being or a mouse? 
  • The doctor tells the blonde:- Do not breathe. Blonde:- Did you fart, or what? 
  • At the pharmacy: – Sorry, but do you have a gun with a mustache? – Yes, but today he did not go to work.
  • What is the difference between an adult man and a child? An adult weighs more. That’s it !!!! 
  • Near the cash desk of the store. – Do you take the package? – You somehow disrespectfully speak with me – Oh, God, what a man, I want a son from you! Take a package? 
  • Why do girls smile when lightning sparkles? They think they are taking pictures
  • Am I a genius? Am I a talent? Well, what are you saying? And by the way, but by the way 
  • – Dad, tell me, what is opera? – Son, it is a performance that starts at 19:00, and when you look at the clock in three hours, they show 19:20.
  • Once you ask what I love more: you or life? I will answer life. You will leave without knowing that I like cookies even more
  • Now the acquaintance begins with the phrase: “Do you have any contact? 
  • Son, do you want to see the sister the stork just brought? I’m also business, sister! Could you show me a stork?
  • The doorbell:- Open! It is the police! “And who closed you there ?!” 
  • The husband says to his wife: “Your new hat is not my taste.” “What can I do, dear? I can’t put a bottle of vodka on my head.”
  • – Mom, guess how much toothpaste is in the tube? – Challenging to answer my son. – Definitely from the sink to the sofa and back!
  • What has survived? I send SMS from the computer, correspond to ICQ from the phone. It remains only to start calling from the camera and watch movies from the coffee grinder.
  • Did mom clean up your room? – show intuition begins! 
  • Why do guys are younger than me? Because I am kind, and children feel it.
  • This morning, I go out for a shower with a towel around my head. My one asks: – “From the shower ???”.
  • Tell me. If I was riding a nine, not a Mercedes, and offered to let you down, would you get in my car ???- and if I stood in a sweatshirt, and not in a mink coat, would you stop?
  • I’m going on the subway. My aunt paints her lips. The train stopped abruptly. Now she is a joker.
  • Hello Daughter, bought some bread? – There was no bread in the store. Dad, I have news. I’m pregnant! -How? HOW IT WASN’T BREAD IN THE STORE?
  • How to die with dignity? 1. Wrap your hand in pride. 2. Die.
  • Why does vodka have one taste, but adventures are always different?
  • You are the most wonderful, beautiful, sexy, kind, and sweet man in the whole world !!! You can vote, huh?
  • Girls! If you dream of a prince on a white horse, think about it! Why does he need a second horse?
  • Is your duty distressing? Knock out all her teeth !!! Let her gently suck you!
  • Is there a highlight in me? I have a lot of highlights. Yes, I’m practically a cupcake!
  • Does cabbage help breast enlargement? Yes, if I put two heads in my bra.

Funny status with “”

  • “Oh, that’s it!” – a small spell that a woman casts whenever you prove to her that she is wrong. 
  • She loved him so much and made a tattoo “Glory” for herself … Now she loves another, and she has a different tattoo – “Glory to Nikita !!!” 
  • As a child, my mother told me: “Do not eat sweets before dinner – you will kill your appetite.” Time has passed. I grew up, and now I eat sweets all day in the hope of finally killing this stupid appetite !!! 
  • One chocolate bar says, “pause!” And the other “do not brake!” There is only one thing left: do not talk with chocolates.
  • The most characteristic feature of any time: “Before, we lived better!”… 
  • There are several phrases such as “I will never leave you,” “I will love you forever,” after which everything will go by the pussy.
  • “And what institution are you going to?” “I still hope for the end of the world.”
  • “You have such dazzling white teeth and fresh breath!” What is your secret? – It’s all about the paste. The mouth must be washed at least occasionally !!! 
  • The boy said that “I give you all these stars!” and hit the girl with an iron pan on the head.
  • Respect is when you want to say, “Go fuck,” but you say, “Good luck.”
  • Someone wrote: “People help spring, eat snow !!!” – indeed, we can finish by July 
  • -Luke, I am your father! – Mom, don’t touch my pills anymore.
  • The fastest-growing plumbers are evolving. Each plumber who comes in is much smarter than the previous one. The phrase almost always sounds: “What a dumbass did you do this ?!”
  • Time after 22.00 in our family is called: “Well, let’s check that we have not gobbled up for the day!”
  • Ancient Chinese wisdom says: “NO SUN!”, Which means: “Be patient, like a lotus flower at the foot of the temple of truth.”
  • Ale: mom, dad dropped coffee on a white towel here. Dunk it or what? – Don’t touch your father. And throw a towel in the machine, I’ll figure it out in the evening
  • Today I walked down the street towards a guy in a T-shirt with the saying, “If you want me, smile, I have never made so much effort to maintain a serious face.”
  • When my mother began to sing “nose, nose,” I realized that here is the end of the world.
  • Today I went to a parent’s meeting. I liked the farewell of my son: “Mom, the main thing is not to trust anyone there!”
  • She’s 14, and she drinks coffee, smokes nervously, and thinks about him. And I’m 20. I’m lying on the couch, drinking juice and watching cartoons.” AND ME 16 AND I DO NOT FOUND YOU BOTH.
  • The wife told her husband: “Why are the socks spread throughout the apartment?”. Husband: “This is a new promotion – Collect ten pairs and get money for mascara!”
  • Student honor to parents: “For those who think that we are studying here!”
  • Are you in a bad mood? So try to say without a smile: “Teddy bear, bear! Teach me to fart!

If Whatsapp Status

  • If it seems that you are alone in the whole world, turn on the punch at 3 am. All doubts will be dispelled quickly!
  • If superglue is super, then why doesn’t it stick to the tube?
  • If you have a bad day according to the horoscope, then just look at the horoscope in another public.
  • If a man skips a lady forward, then he is a gentleman? No, he just wants to check out the back view.
  • If God gave, then I knew that you could stand it.  
  • If something bothers you in me, you don’t need to inform me, Try to survive this shock yourself!
  • If you are still not in a fairy tale, it means that you are not the wizard. 

Status start with I

  • I’ve been watching the Olympics for several days now, and I have a suspicion that the same athlete is playing for the Chinese team !!! 
  • I will save your photo in the “animals” folder.
  • In kindergarten, if you go to bed at 21:00 – you’re cool. At school, if you go to bed at 21:00 – you are a complete loser. Well, now, if you go to bed at 21:00 – everyone envies you! 
  • I want to meet, sit, and give you the fuck.
  • I am not cruel. But My memory is tight. I will revenge, forget. Then I will avenge again.
  • I exchange one husband of 40 for two in 20. Do not offer option four in 10.
  • I like football. During a match, you can beg anything from your husband and even a mink coat.
  • I explained the secret of the girl who was wearing skirts on the floor. Just sluggish shaving legs
  • I thought that a house where some lunatics lived was fun. But i knew that i was incorrect after i came to your home.
  • I am not your happiness. It is your happiness!
  • I thought we would always be together. But you got off at the next stop.
  • I read the status: “If your wife has a headache, try putting new Italian boots on her forehead!” It’s a pity there is no explanation, on a grand scale or not ?! 
  • I came home from school and shout to dad: – Dad! I brought four! – Well done, put in the fridge
  • I am hurt by the same question each time when i meet the hairdresser, “Why did they ask me how I want to get a haircut?”
  • I look at him, and I want to cook children and give birth to Borscht.
  • I look, my friend’s status: “Hooray !! I’m flying to Italy for three weeks !! Yes! I adore my friends!” And the next day: -bastards, I hate the first of April 
  • I solve other people’s problems. But I collected my issues.
  • I don’t have the terms “meet” and “move.” I have the concept of being together.
  • I still have to look for such a fool. But I’m smart, I found it.
  • I am responsible for my words, not for how you understand them. 
  • I always wondered why there are either no guys or two. Then it dawned on me. Trouble does not come alone.
  • I am the world champion in the Russian language without rules.
  • I knew that you were sleeping at lectures, but putting on pajamas was too much!
  • I’m not afraid of heights. I’m just scared of hitting the ground. 
  • I’ll die, but I’ll live life to the end !!!
  • I loved. I suffered. You are a fool, but I did not know!
  • I look at you and think another drink, or I already like you.

Status start with You

  • You can’t just take and throw away a wet towel after wiping your face or hands. After this, you must clean the table, bedside table, chair and shelf
  • You are a treasure that I want to stick you in my chest. I will take you to an isolated island and bury it there 
  • You should not especially listen to the inner voice because it has never been outside 
  • It would be best if you told everyone everything you ever thought of them. If they are not nearby, then call or write SMS. They must know. © Alcohol

Long Whatsapp Status

  • From childhood, Stepan was not like everyone else. In the elevator, he set fire to the corners and pissed on buttons. 
  • Any, even the most awesome or crappy day, sooner or later will end with a freaking internet
  • Who has become friends with you for gaining benefits is not your reliable friend, but the most terrible enemy. 
  • It really hurts when you love and wait for a man, and he finds a replacement for you!
  • Diplomacy is when, instead of a fur coat, you agree to buy gloves for your wife. 
  • Doctor, I have two problems. Hands are shaking and memory is bad and hands are shaking. 
  • They say friends on the road do not roll. I don’t know, I don’t know … Anything can happen to mine! …
  • To achieve complete harmony in life, I need to swap two things: at 7 in the morning I should feel hungry, and at 1 in the morning I should sleep !!! 
  • Sometimes you look at someone else’s child and sincerely regret that it’s not yours … So you would have fooled me!
  • Two reasons why I do not allow my wife to ride my Ferrari: 1. My wife does not have a driver’s license. 2. I do not have a Ferrari.
  • All the goods of Chinese Christmas trees are closer to natural ones. They even sprinkle, after a couple of weeks, like real ones. Technology and progress!
  • Compassion, patience, and unity were given by a man on a bicycle who stood worthy in a traffic jam for two hours.
  • The growth of nature is a long and hidden process. Glass was invented 3,800 years ago. And mosquitoes, insects, and flies continue to fight hard against it, not noticing obstacles.
  • The third toast is for parents who, in full confidence, foolishly think that their children are gaining knowledge and experience of independent life.
  • There was no sex in the past. But each family had 3-4 children. Now there is sex. But almost every family has one child. Conclusion: children do not appear from sex. Still, storks 
  • A new heavy-duty hurricane is approaching the US beach. He has already been awarded the highest degree of danger and the title of Hero of the Russian Federation.
  • Horror! The day off at 2 am… All ordinary people may be on the tenth dream or having sex. But I am planting eggplants at the farm.
  • Football players of the Russian team began to score more! Now they can score not only for training but also for the match itself!
  • Sometimes, I want to fuck myself up for the habit of putting everything off for tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll fuck myself up tomorrow
  • How hard it is to work when there is no chef. I don’t even smoke. I’m afraid I’ll go home.
  • The fantastic thing is the exam! Some are surprised by questions, others by answers.
  • Do not stop the Lord. When the Maya calendar ends, the June calendar will begin.
  • A real man will never raise a hand on a woman because, in a real man, a woman does not raise a hand at all.
  • Demand is when you try to find jeans among the products in the refrigerator. The illness is when you find it.
  • The president said that people working in Russia earn an average of 27,000 rubles. Then it means i don’t work or I’m not human
  • Once again, I am convinced that women know how to keep secrets in groups of about forty.
  • How unbearably hard in the early morning to look for a hair from a teabag in a mug, especially if you made yourself a coffee.
  • These fucking people open their mouths, wave their hands, but not a sound comes to me. FUCK HOW I LOVE HEADPHONES!
  • My parents bought me the first fish to teach me to love and care for some other living and breathing creation of the Lord. Six hundred and forty fish later, I only know one thing: everything you love will die
  • In a sinking, women, children, and people with Mantoux are the first to be evacuated.
  • So that I don’t get smashed, I don’t eat after six and don’t smoke at gas stations.
  • For the first time, I heard how our excellent student swearing. I wanted to douse her with holy water.
  • After buying a laptop, you understand that now you can not only sit on the Internet but also lie down.
  • How, all the time, it’s good when the expectation of trouble suddenly ends with a pleasant surprise!
  • The village teacher could not decide who she should marry: the headmaster or the tractor driver. On the one hand, rapid career growth, and on the other without a charge she gets to school 
  • Only one thing pleases while Watching the game of our national football team. It’s good that we have hockey players.
  • There are still a lot of rascals in the world that a man’s foot hasn’t stepped on
  • All people have two faces. The first person is kind, sincere, responsive. The second appears when the first is abused.
  • Today I chose flowers in the market. The saleswoman shouts: I smell, I will stand for a week !! 
  • Children are different now. Green apricots hang on a tree, as they should, but no one cuts them.
  • In addition to the child whom she gave birth, each woman has a child whom the mother-in-law gave birth. 
  • When I was little, I dreamed that one day a handsome prince would take me. Now my husband is dreaming about it.
  • Water from the tap cannot be drunk because it’s dirty. Fruits must be washed with tap water. But they will be clean.
  • Bloody wars will soon begin again between those who are dull and those who are blowing
  • My daughter came from the street today. I’m sitting, I’m thinking of giving birth to a new one or trying to wash this !!!
  • It angers me, here you are stroking a cat. He sings, and then abruptly takes and bites for no reason. female bitch
  • New diet: before sitting at the table, press off the floor 50 times! The effect is impressive: your hands are shaking, and you can’t bring a lot to your mouth!
  • As you know, beavers are kind. The kindness of beavers is full. If you want yourself well, you just need to call a beaver. If you are kind without a beaver, then you are a beaver in your soul!
  • Before putting the winter jacket into the closet until the next season, put 200 rubles in your pocket, make yourself happy for the future.
  • Good men do not lie on the road. Men, discover the secret. Where are you still lying?
  • The best couple is the one that started with friendship! What kind of nonsense? BEST COUPLE is THOSE WHICH WAS RELEASED!
  • After studying, I am split between sleeping, eating, and surfing the Internet. I am a businessman.
  • Never forget about those who were with you in difficult times. Google, Wikipedia, and Translator.
  • Good girls have jobs. Bad girls have sponsors. Smart ones have their own business and everyone.
  • The class is like a terrible site. Stretch ceilings, curtains, and a closet are as friends. I don’t remember that such people studied at school with me.
  • The best teacher in life is experience. It takes, however, expensively, but explains intelligibly.
  • It has been confirmed that the more the cat loves you, the less space it leaves for you on the bed.
  • Those who finger-fingered the USB input on the back of the computer case will have no problems from the girls.
  • In your life, that person will surely appear who will reset everything that came before.
  • God could not keep track of everything in the world, and therefore he created Grandma.
  • Help! My friend smoked a cigarette, got into the washing machine, and left!
  • A woman is a beautiful flower. The flower is gorgeous, but it is slightly faded 
  • Now I will take the eggs of fate, the butter of life, the sausage of justice, a frying pan of truth and I will prepare the fried eggs of the Apocalypse
  • Women !!! Take care of men. They always suffer !!! Either by a lack of female attention or by excess.

This is the latest collection of whatsapp funny status collection and hope you love them. We will update these whatsapp quotes in every week. We love to hear your thoughts and even your own creations. Feel free to comment them with your name and we will add them to list. Don’t forget to share this with your friends.

We will be happy to hear your thoughts

      Leave a reply